Controlled Chaos (continued)
by Tammy Copechal-Beach
Bipolar Disorder affects 1-2½ percent of the population. It is considered to be a low incidence disability. Both John and I have experience with BPD. John's sister, Marie; my mother, Dawn; and my cousin, Lynn, all have BPD; it's a family affair. My first introduction to someone with BPD was my mother. I can remember there were times when she would lock herself in her room for days and just cry. Then, it would all be over, and she would be the best mom ever. At the time, though, it wasn't called BPD; it was called Manic Depressive. There is some evidence there is a genetic aspect to the disorder. This aspect of the disorder is new and still being researched. I am convinced and believe that it is genetic -- just look at how many there are in my family. One article from 2003 about a study performed at Ludwig-Maximillian University in Munich, Germany, says, “Family histories of bipolar disorder were shown in many previous studies to be key variables to differentiate between bipolar and unipolar disorders.’’ Some researchers also believe that an emotional or tragic event can cause such severe trauma that it alters the chemical makeup of our brain. This has yet to be proven. The symptoms of BPD can vary greatly from mild to severe, and there are several types of BPD. There is also Childhood Onset Bipolar Disorder, (CBD), which can be hard to diagnose because the symptoms are very similar to ADHD. In hindsight, I think Kalee should have been diagnosed with CBD; she had all the classic symptoms. If I had known what life was going to give me, I don't think I would have changed anything. I love my children just the way they are. I sometimes wondered if she was just a spoiled teenage brat.
There are so many different symptoms that mimic natural preteen growth that it's hard to tell if it's puberty or BPD. Some of the different behaviors are trouble sleeping and a very short temper. Other symptoms include appetite changes, trouble staying focused, irritability, and racing thoughts. This is a physical disability that manifests itself mentally. It is not a deficit of character; it is a deficit of a person’s chemical makeup. There are chemicals that our body produces that help us function. Serotonin is the chemical that wakes us up and keeps us up. Dopamine helps us fall asleep; it is also known as the “feel good” chemical. I was told that my daughter's brain could be producing unusually high amounts of the chemicals serotonin and testosterone and not enough dopamine. Translated, it means she can stay up for long periods of time and can be as mean as a bear if one falls asleep while she's still up. Let me try and give a visual of what this might look like.
Just imagine that Dr. Jekyll was a woman, who says what she wants to say, has extreme PMS, and just found out her boyfriend is gay and is sleeping with her brother. Now that's what I call a roller coaster ride. This is what Kalee's personality looks like. Some days she laughs, cries and screams in one breath. Before medication, she used to be able to stay up for nine to 11 days at a time, with little to no sleep. Then, she would crash for about three days and start the process all over again. Most nights, she would sleep for about 1½ hours. I would try to stay up with her as long as I could. This was next to impossible. It was during these long nights that I learned a lot about my daughter. I knew she slept with the TV on, but I didn't know it was because she is terrified of the dark. I soon found out her favorite station is Nickelodeon. I know more about Sponge Bob than any adult should. I knew she loved animals, but I didn't know that she doesn't like them in her room because she doesn't want them getting on her bed. Some nights we would make popcorn and watch old, funny movies like "Uncle Buck" or the “National Lampoon” movies, which really are not so old. Other nights, she would talk and talk and talk, until I fell asleep. Some nights, I would wake up to find her staring at me. When I asked her what the problem was, she would say, “Mommy, I just had to make sure you are breathing and you didn't die.” This disturbed me just a bit. The doctors told me to be patient, and that with the right medication, things would get better. I thought the medication would fix all our problems.
Pages 1 • 2 • 3 • 5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 |
Titles
|