Controlled Chaos (continued)
by Tammy Copechal-Beach
This was our everyday life. We were always cleaning up the emotional messes Kalee would create. Big sisters are supposed to protect and look out for little sisters. Kalee was causing her little sister to cry. Karee was turning into a victim of emotional, verbal and physical abuse. She had become quiet and shy, and she avoided Kalee at all costs. In school, she was the girl who sat in class and never spoke or got in trouble. She was turning into the child who was overlooked. She was such a good girl that, even at home, she was getting ignored. She was becoming a loner and finding it hard to make friends. I found that these are the children who do commit suicide or bring guns to school and take their anger out on others. If one listened to the news about Columbine, one would know it was the socially backwards kids who created such havoc. I knew I had to do something to prevent Karee from becoming unable to handle society.
So, I enrolled her in a dance class, which helped to build her self-esteem, and I started to do things with her just one on one. Like mommy/daughter dates. A date would consist of us taking turns picking where we would go. Sometimes it would be dinner and a movie, picking flowers in the garden, or making Choco-puff cookies at Aunt Ellies' house. We always made a big to-do about it, to make it a special moment. When I saw that this was working, I included the rest of my family. It turned into mommy/daughter dates, mommy/son dates, mommy/hubby dates, daddy/daughter dates, daddy/son dates, and eventually, family dates. We always made sure to take each of our daughters on separate dates and together dates, as well. We would include Kalee on some of these dates, which she enjoyed, unless she had other plans. Then, it was a fight to get her to go. On those days that we forced her to go, we would pray that she acted like a regular teenage girl – those girls who are respectful of their parents, or maybe point and giggle at boys if there are around. That was only wishful thinking. At least her behavior had not affected her in school yet.
When middle school came along, transitioning from fifth grade to sixth grade was horrendous. Then came Kalee’s first fight. She was actually trying to defend a smaller child from the school bullies. However, because she says what is on her mind, regardless of if the person is an adult or not, she was suspended from school. This is what I was told by the principal. There was an eighth grade boy picking on a sixth grade girl. Kalee interrupted and told the boy if he didn't back off, she was going to give him a makeover with the locker and her fist. The boy, in turn, grabbed her by the arm and was going to hit her. She, however, got the better of him and somehow ended up giving him a black eye. When a teacher finally showed up, she told the teacher that if she was doing her job, none of this would have happened. It escalated from there until finally, Kalee told the principal that he could stick his school where the sun doesn't shine. The boy, however, did not even get reprimanded. He was the quarterback, and his parents were wealthy and always donated to the school. I could go on and on about small town rural school systems and how they show favoritism. This is a sore spot for me.
After Kalee was allowed back in school, it didn't take long for her to be singled out as the "trouble maker,” when, in reality, she was actually defending smaller kids and bullying the bully. By the second nine weeks of school, she was placed in an alternative school program. In retrospect, I am actually glad that she attends a specialized school. She is receiving a far better education than she would if I had fought to keep her in the public school. But it's a different placement. She is following the same curriculum as her peers, just with adaptations. She has some of the most supportive teachers and staff whom I have had the pleasure to work with. They have taken the time to get to know her and her family, to find out what works best for her and what is her learning style. I am now a firm believer that it is not the student who cannot learn, it is the teacher who cannot teach. Time and again, the teachers at Colonial, IU1 Campus, have shown that a good teacher will get to know a student, but a great teacher will find out how the student learns. I digress, though; all prepubescent middle school kids have issues. Most teachers will say these students are the worst age to try to teach. Kalee has a full plate; yet, for the most part, her behaviors are manageable. Although she attends a specialized school, she is allowed to participate in any sport or extracurricular activity that her home school offers.
Pages 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 6 • 8 • 9 |
Titles
|