Controlled Chaos (continued)
by Tammy Copechal-Beach
The medication was only the beginning. It takes at least a year to find the right combination of drugs, and when experimenting with different combinations of drugs, a patient has to wait until the old medication clears out of the system before starting a new one. This takes about two weeks. Even then, the patient might not see any kind of improvement. I was hopeful that medication would be our miracle.
The first trial medication was Topomax, which is a migraine medication. It is supposed to work with BPD patients. Boy, did it work. It caused her migraines to get worse and her to become more aggressive. Her doctors agreed that it wasn't working. Three long weeks later, they tried her on Abilify. This one seemed to work, until she started crying and wishing she could just die. This was her first trip to the E.R. and eventually her first stay at a residential treatment facility, where they monitored her medication for 72 hours. In the many years that followed, she tried Tegretol, Amitriptalyne, Depakot, Lexapro, Lithium, Lorazepam, Trazadone, and Propranolol, just to name a few. That's not even scratching the surface of the different combinations the doctors tried. Finally, after three very long years, right before her 15th birthday, we found the combination that worked, Respiradol and Concerta. With this discovery also came side effects. Some of the mild side effects are: drowsiness, dry mouth, increased length of sleep, joint and stomach pain, sore throat, and stuffy and runny nose. That is for the Respiradol alone. The Concerta is a stimulant used for ADHD, which causes dry mouth and a decreased appetite. However, the benefits outweighed the side effects. I thought we had a keeper. Kalee was able to go to sleep and stay asleep for more than two hours a night. She was also a little more pleasant to be around. Her mood swings decreased, and she was able to just sit still for more than 60 seconds. I thought that we had been through the worst of it. Little did we know, the storm was just beginning to brew.
Some might say that some of the things Kalee has done are just typical teen behavior. Keep in mind that she is not a typical teen. She has some mild obsessive-compulsive disorders or OCDs. She is always checking her room and making sure everything is in its place. She is also mildly paranoid. Taking her to the mall is not an option; she would think other girls are staring at her and laughing. I remember one time we were out shopping for a dress for her first middle school dance. We had gone into JC Penney's and were looking in the junior's section. God had blessed Kalee with a mature figure at a young age. We were looking at some really soft, velvety, revealing dresses.
I said to her, “No, you can't get that one; everyone will see your breasts.”
“So, who cares?” she replied.
“I do.”
“You don't matter.”
“Yes, I do. I'm your mother. I have the last say so, and I have the money.”
She said, in a very conversational tone, “Mom, tell that bitch to quit looking at me.” There was a woman of about 53, 20 feet from us, looking through the racks.
I replied, “Kalee, lower your voice, she's not even looking at you!”
“Yes she is. She's staring at me.”
“No, she is not, but if you keep making a scene, she will be looking at us. One more time and we will leave.”
“You're a bitch. I hate you.”
“OK, let’s go. We'll do this another day,” I said.
“I fuckin’ hate you,” she replied as she stormed out the door, shoving people out of the way. This was a good day for her. You can just imagine what a bad one was.
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